And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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