I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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