Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
