Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
