dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
