He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
