im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
