i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
