Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
