their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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