I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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