she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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