the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Vodka?
Forever.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
