Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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