dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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