we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
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