dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
