Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
