I wannas sexs uuuuu
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
