Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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