do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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