Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
