There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
