the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
