no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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