we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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