So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
