I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
