So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
