so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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