Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
