Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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