she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
