you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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