So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Someone came in the potted fern
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
i need some magic done to my vagina
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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