i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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