At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
