are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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