So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
