I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize