dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
