I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
