I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
