what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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