no. you can't hotbox the world.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Randomize
