I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
