then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize