The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
