my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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