Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
