He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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